Not much to report lately - as occasionally happens, real life caught up with me for the last several days and I haven't had time to update in a while. I also locked my dairy for a few days as a precaution - nothing to worry about, but I figured it was better safe than sorry.

I did get laid again last week, on Tuesday. Mary Anne and I went to bed early and fucked, but it really wasn't that great. We'd both been drinking a bit (she actually drank a good bit more than she normally would). Normally that makes for some wild-assed monkey sex (she loosens up sexually when she's drunk, and when she does she's a great lay), but for whatever reason it just wasn't happening that night. We got naked and she declined much foreplay, so I just lubed up my pole and started fucking her slowly. After a few minutes of that, it became apparent that she just wasn't getting into it. She wanted me to just go ahead and cum.

By this point I'd been pumping my cock in and out of her pussy for several minutes, so it wasn't that difficult to go ahead and have my orgasm, but it definitely took a lot of enjoyment out of the whole thing. Sure, fucking my wife will always beat the hell out of another evening with Rosy Palms and her five sisters, but screwing a partner who's pretty much just lying there is a lot closer to masturbation than the spiritual experience that good sex generally is. She wasn't particularly enjoying it, so I didn't particularly enjoy it, other than on a technical level.

Now, I know it was just a one-time thing, and I appreciate that even though she apparently wasn't really in the mood, she made the effort to see if she could get it going. And then when she couldn't, she wanted me to go ahead and get off. Still, the whole thing left a bad taste in my mouth. It's been nearly a week since then, and I haven't really tried to fuck her since. Mostly, though, it's because we've both been exhausted every night for some reason, and then we had a houseguest for a few days, which just compounded the problem. I'll probably try and screw her again tonight or tomorrow night, depending on how circumstances play out. I'm sure it will go better this time (there's only one way to go after last time...)

I have a saying that I like to throw out every now and then. I forget where I first heard it, which was years ago, but I've always found it to be true: "Sex is like pizza; even when it's pretty bad, it's pretty good."

I think that's true. I was trying to think of what my "worst sex" story would be (because I feel like I should try and come up with something interesting for this entry, and so far it ain't happening). No one particular instance comes to mind. I can probably tell you who my worst partner was - Laura, the third of my six virgins. To this day, I can't really explain what it was - there was just a complete lack of sexual chemistry. We got together to fuck several times over the space of four years - I think three times. The first was our freshman year of college, when I took her virginity. Then I think the next time was junior year, when she came down and stayed with me for the weekend to celebrate my 21st birthday. Then the summer after our senior year she came down for a few days for something else in the city where I was living and we hooked up one night and fucked.

And pretty much, all of those times sucked (with the usual caveat that engaging in bad sex still beats doing almost anything else, other than engaging in good sex.) I'm not sure why - lots of reasons, I guess, many of which are my fault, probably. I was well aware that she was always a lot more into me than I was into her (when she was picking a college, it came down to the school that I went to and the school in the northeast that she wound up attending - and I was secretly relieved that she chose the other one), so I always felt a little guilty that by fucking her, I was sort of leading her on. I didn't like her enough to want to get into a long-distance relationship with her, but I liked her enough that I didn't want to play with her head. But if she wants to fly down to see me and have sex with me, well, I'm only human.

Another part of the problem as that while she was attractive, she wasn't really my type physically - she didn't have much in the way of tits (in fact, of the girls I actually dated that I slept with, she easily had the smallest tits). She wasn't a very good kisser, either, now that I think about it.

I think the greatest impediment was that we were too good friends for it to work sexually. I know she thought the world of me, and that was hard to live up to. And I always thought of her as so innocent and pure. Knowing that she thought of me that way, and thinking of her the way I did, I never had the guts to really get into anything unconventional with her. All the times we had sex, it was missionary, and there wasn't any talking dirty or anything like that. She pretty much just laid there. I am pretty sure that I went down on her at least a couple of times, but I only recall her going down on me once - and that was the night of my 21st birthday party, when I was far too drunk to fully appreciate it. Probably if we spent more time together or got together to fuck more than once every couple of years, we'd have gotten over it and the sex would have been better. I introduced her to fucking, but she needed further instruction on how to be good at being a bad girl, and I didn't have the gumption to give it to her.

I had a few other "students" who completed that course very successfully, though - it's a shame she wasn't one of them. In retrospect, I suspect she would have been a willing pupil.

Today, she's a married attorney and mother who lives about four hours away from me. She used to call me up every few months up to the point where she got married - now it's just an email every few years.

Things change, I've changed.

One thing that would change is if I ever got the chance to fuck her again. We're not dumb, innocent kids any more - if it ever happened, I intend to give her the fucking of her life. Backwards, forwards, oral, anal, hanging from the chandelier, you name it. I should have done it years ago, and if I ever get the chance to make up for it, you better believe I won't blow it again.

My First Threesome - 2005-04-06
Things That Suck - 2005-04-05
A Return of Regular Action? - 2005-03-31
Patience Rewarded - 2005-03-29
Infidelity... It's Everywhere - 2005-03-25