Several years ago I had a buddy who was a real ladykiller - he was ridiculously good looking (if I were a chick, I would have done him), funny as hell, extremely smooth with the women. Dude could even play any instrument just picking it up and playing, and he could sing. He was just one of those disgusting people who before birth went through the line where they were handing out talents three or four times, while the rest of us were lucky to get through it once. He exclusively dated really hot girls, and he usually had two or three of them going at any one time - and they all knew that he was screwing around on all of them, but he was such a smoothie that they went along with it. He used to treat them with total disregard, too - he definitely had the good-looking bad boy routine down pat, and girls just ate it up. The rest of us mere mortals were in awe. We would have hated him, but he was such a fun guy to hang out with that the rest of us just had to admire him - you couldn't resent him, even though it just wasn't fair for one guy to be so blessed.

There was one area, however, where he used to tell me that I was the master, and he wished he'd been as successful as me. What impressed him so greatly was when it came up that I had slept with six virgins.

I suppose that's a bigger deal when I was younger - these days it seems like everyone is out there fucking when they're barely fourteen years ago and are approaching double-digits in sex partners before they're old enough to drink legally (or vote, in a lot of cases). I can't decide if it's that kids these days are a lot more sexually active at younger ages, or if I was just especially sheltered until I managed to get out and start getting laid (I got my first blowjob at 16 and got laid when I was - I think - 17, so I've been making up for lost time ever since). But back then, losing your virginity was regarded as a pretty big deal, so he was amazed and impressed that I'd successfully seduced six different girls into letting me be their very first. The Super Six, as I sometimes think of them.

I'm not sure what that says about me. The cynic in me says that I'm a horrible cad, because I corrupted all these nice, sweet, innocent young girls who didn't know any better than to get involved with a serial devirginator (my buddy from the first paragraph's occasional nickname for me, sometimes just shortened to "D"). The romantic in me says, what a nice guy I was, that I wooed and won these previously-chaste young women, earning their trust and a place in their heart that they trusted me to give them the ultimate introduction to full womanhood.

There's some truth to both of those. Of the Six, four were girls that I was dating in high school and college, and they hadn't quite been ready to pop their cherries before they got involved with me. Only one of them did I really have to lobby to get her to have sex with me - the other three it was a pretty natural progression of our relationship (and I've always felt kind of bad about the other one, though she doesn't seem to hold it against me). The fifth was a special case - an old girlfriend from years before who decided that she was ready to lose her virginity, and decided that I was the guy she wanted to lose it with, even though there was no prospect of our having a traditional "relationship". The sixth one I should feel bad about - that's the one time where I knowingly took the virginity of a girl who was in over her head being with someone as much more experienced as I was. I didn't love her, I just wanted to fuck her. But maybe five out of six isn't bad.

In order, the Super Six:

1.) Ally. My junior year of high school - we dated for a year and a half, and about six months into it we were doing everything but having actual intercourse. Then one night, we actually had sex by accident (it's a good story, I'll tell it at some point). This was also when I lost my own virginity. Sixteen years later, we still fuck whenever the opportunity presents itself.

2.) Mandy. My senior year of high school. Mandy and I dated for two and a half years, starting when I was a senior and she was a junior. Even though she was barely 15 and I was her first real "serious" boyfriend, we hadn't even been dating a month when I told her I wanted her and she told me she wanted me, too. That night she snuck into my room and we did the deed.

3.) Laura. My freshman year of college, Laura was going to school up at an Ivy League school in the northeast and I was in school in the mid-Atlantic region. We'd kept in touch since we'd been boyfriend/girlfriend as summer program kids the summer between our sophomore and junior years of high school, and we'd even managed to run into each other a couple of times since then, engaging in some heavy necking and not-so-heavy petting. A couple of months into college, she decides to come visit me and some other friends who go to school near me, so she flies down and is going to stay with me. I get her from the airport, we hang out, then at bedtime we get in bed and as we're getting into fooling around she essentially tells me "I'm ready, and I've decided that I want it to be you." Never one to turn down a friend in need, I'm more than happy to assist her in getting rid of the cherry she had no further use for.

4.) Maria. The summer between my sophomore and junior years of college, I was working (as usual) as a summer program counselor at my college, and Maria worked there with me. I was completely enchanted with her, and I wound up dumping Mandy, my girlfriend of two and a half years, over it. She had a boyfriend of her own back at her school up north, but I put on the full-court press and by half-way though the summer we were sharing her bed every night after all the kids were asleep. She was still a virgin and intended to remain that way, but as the summer went on her resolve started to waver. There were a couple of close calls, but by our last night together she had still managed to hang on to her virginity by the skin of her teeth. We spent that night at my new apartment before I was to take her to the airport in the morning, and during our last get-naked-and-roll-around session when it came time for the wave-off, she shocked the hell out of me by telling me to go ahead and take her. So I did - and in the morning I put her on a plane back to school, and sure enough a few months later she unceremoniously dumped me. So I felt a little bad because deep down I felt that she'd given in to me because I really wanted it - but the fact that she turned around and broke my heart a few months later kept me from feeling *that* bad about it.

5.) Christine. At the end of my junior year in college, I'd been gently wooing Christine for several months. I hadn't been making a ton of progress, but there was some hope. Every year there was a week after the last day of exams and before Graduation, and most of the students at our college would travel to a particular beach resort to party for a week. The group that Christine and I both belonged to rented out an entire (small) hotel for the week, and we were both staying there. Towards the end of the week, Christine and I wound up sitting up all night and talking, and shortly before dawn we went for a walk on the beach together. We wound up sitting between a couple of dunes, and before you know it we started kissing and boom, welcome to couplehood. She had basically not dated at all in college - she had the aloof and unattainable thing down to a science. But once I broke through her outer defenses, things progressed rapidly. Over the next week and a half, we engaged in some heavy making out, and progressed to frantic, passionate petting. On the tenth day since we started going out, she was at my apartment and we were making out on the couch, and she stunned me by going down on me without warning and giving me a fantastic, eyeball-rolling-back-in-the-head blowjob. The next night, we went to bed together, and gradually clothes came off and I slowly made love to her.

6.) Jennifer. The final episode in the Virgin Chronicles occurred during the summer after I graduated from college. I was working my usual job looking after summer students (this was just a few weeks before my ill-fated invovlement with Elizabeth began). Jennifer was one of the students in the program, and thus, theoretically, off limits to me. But she hung around me a lot, and I enjoyed the attention. She was pretty cute - not particularly remarkable, but she was sixteen going on seventeen - just at that "ripe and ready to be corrupted" point that I find so mouth-watering. She had her issues, to be sure - her life at home sounded pretty twisted, and she lived in freaking Alaska, which had to make for a somewhat unusual childhood, and she had a horrible self-image - one of those normal-sized girls who obsess over pictures of starving models and are convinced that they are horrendously fat. I liked her, and I felt sorry for her for being so down on herself. So I flirted with her, she ate it up, and from there it wasn't long before she was completely enthralled. So once I decided that she probably wouldn't flip out and spill the beans to one of her friends or one of my fellow staffers, I put the moves on her one night, and with no resistance she let me take her virginity. I fucked her every night for a few weeks until Elizabeth took her place, whereupon I gently broke things off with Jennifer, telling her that we needed to stop before someone caught us, which she accepted. I'm not especially proud of my behavior where Jennifer's concerned.

I'll eventually tell all those stories in greater detail, because they're all pretty hot in their own ways. And while you're all very patient to listen to me babble endlessly about how abstractly odd it seems to be attracted to someone's grandmother (yeesh), or the ethics of fucking a virgin, it's "all the horny details" (to quote John Travolta in Grease) that people keep coming back to read. Don't bother denying it, you horndogs! ;)

A Return of Regular Action? - 2005-03-31
Patience Rewarded - 2005-03-29
Infidelity... It's Everywhere - 2005-03-25
3 A.M. Eternal (KLF is gonna rock you!) - 2005-03-24
A Different Twist - 2005-03-21