My apologies for not having finished telling the tale of my wild weekend banging Ally - I had intended to finish last week (if you hadn't figured that out from my note about "tomorrow"), but as occasionally happens, th real world intervened. As they say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. So I've been balls-to-the-wall busy for most of the last week. About the only time I took any time out was a long lunch last week that I spent fucking the living shit out of Carol - extremely enjoyable and well worth the fact that my legs and shoulders were stiff and sore for four days afterward. I'll tell that story - and finish with Ally - sometime soon.

So I spent some time today getting caught up with some of my favorite Diarylanders. (Am I the only one who consistently keeps misspelling that as "Dairylanders", which makes all of us sound like people from Wisconsin?) The fabulous Chickpea had an entry reflecting on how many times one gets laid in a year.

Interesting. Apparently some dipshit was commenting that 84 times wasn't that great - are you fucking kidding me? I seriously doubt I got laid nearly that much last year

(I wish I had thought to count - perhaps that will be my New Year's Resolution: "Keep track of how many times I get laid." Imagine the hilarity if my mother-in-law ever asked me what mine is.)

It's been interesting to see what impression this account seems to be making among the half-dozen or so people who are apparently reading it from time to time. Both Chickpea and Abacinate seem to be mostly struck by the fact that a lot of the sex that I write about is in the context of an "affair". (I'd say that a lot of it is extramarital, which isn't neccessarily the same thing. Defining the difference is something I'll have to ruminate about another day, however.) I just intended to write about my sex life - some of which, and certainly most of the most interesting stories, was/is "illicit" but probably the majority isn't.

I wish I'd kept track of how much sex I had in 2004. Most of it was with my wife. Looking back, I fucked three other women last year, two on two different occasions (one two days in a row, the other two days out of three) and one was a one-night-stand. So five times I had extramarital sex in 2004. I also on one memorable occasion last year got a blowjob from two women at once, but didn't have sex (intercourse) with either, so I don't technically count them. I guess that number - five - is a lot more than the number it's supposed be - zero - but I'm still eating the majority of my meals at home, so to speak.

Thus far in 2005, I've gotten laid twice (once each with Mary Anne and Carol) in 12 days, or about once a week. And I'd say so far in 2005 I'm improving on my 2004 score.

Of course, 2004 sucked in so many ways. I had three "illicit" sex partners in 2004, down from 4 in 2003, 5 in 2002, 9 in 2001, and 5 in 2000. I've already bagged one for 2005, and I have another promising prospect that I think I have a great shot with if circumstances cooperate.

So, there you have it. What any of that means, I have no idea. Hopefully we'll get back to the hot sex stories in the next installment.

A Return of Regular Action? - 2005-03-31
Patience Rewarded - 2005-03-29
Infidelity... It's Everywhere - 2005-03-25
3 A.M. Eternal (KLF is gonna rock you!) - 2005-03-24
A Different Twist - 2005-03-21